A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”
best so far.
*bully pushes you*
*you push bully back*
bully: wtf you piece of shit, that’s reverse bullying
my friend just looked me in the eye and said “thank you for making water”
i poured a glass of water from the tap
How come Beyoncé wears crystal-studded leotards, 6” heels and fishnets, but she dresses Blue Ivy, her baby, in regular baby clothes? It really makes you think.
How come Beyoncé chooses to drink alcohol but doesn’t have Blue Ivy drink it? Why is Blue Ivy always being carried around? Why is she so short?